As most of you know today was a morning I was not looking forward to. Courts and review boards are hard, I never know what to expect and what opinions others are going to have about the case that I feel so passionate about. Many court dates so far have been really discouraging and hard. I leave with a very heavy heart, but I truly have always felt like God is in control and I am not. Today was one of those days that I felt God shine through in really incredible ways. Foster care is a roller coaster ride, but as is life. There are peaks and valleys always. Today we had a peak. The courthouse is always intimidating. You sit in a hallway with all the other people waiting for their hearings. While in the hallway everyone involved in your case talk to each other trying to come to an agreement. Most of the time foster parents are not involved or even asked. I have learned that when you make yourself involved as a foster parent everyone else involved actually asks for your opinion. At the courthouse there is DSS Attorney, DSS case Worker, Guardian Et Litem Lawyer, the Guardian Et litem, Mom, Mom's lawyer and myself. We spend an hour discussing what we think should or should not happen. Emotions are high. There is this amazing program here in Charleston called Maia Moms. It is a single moms program set up for moms that are trying to get on their feet again. I love their purpose and their passion and heart for single moms. It is a faith based program, which in my mind is even better. It truly is an amazing program. I have been encouraging this program for N's mom just because I love it so much. The head of the program really does believe in N's mom and wants to see her succeed. Today I had a chance to introduce Maia moms to DSS and they loved everything about it. I had a chance to give what I thought would be best for this little boy that has taken my heart. God opened some amazing doors and DSS loved it. We went into the courtroom where the DSS attorney presents to the judge their hopes and plans for the future. One of my favorite things being involved in Foster Care is watching people respond to the way Rob and I believe God has called us to foster care. Sadly enough the expectations of foster parents are to be day care providers and to not be involved in any way. My problem is that if they are asking me to treat these children as my own then yes I will be at court, I will be asking questions, I will be at visits. I don't want some random person bringing them to and from visits or not knowing what was decided in court. Today at court the Attorney says to the judge "Mom and Foster mom have a unique relationship. The foster mom is actually very supportive of the mom, involved and helping her. DSS is very happy about it." I love to shock people with how we are called to love and I pray Jesus will shine through in the end. So court came to and end and I loved to hear the words from DSS spoken "We are pushing for reunification". Those words never sounded so good. After hearing termination in the past it was such a blessing to hear reunification. Sometimes it feels like baby steps, but today it was a step in the direction we have been praying for. I truly felt the Lords peace in the whole thing, that He was reminding me time and time again its in His time not mine. Wait.
I hopped in the car and raced over to DSS to little lady M's Review Board. It is never easy to sit around a table and hear them read the child's case, what has happened that has caused them to be in care and what their hopes are for the future. My heart breaks as I listen, but I can't help but look over to her mom and wonder what she thinks as all these people aren't speaking her language and the translator is trying to keep up. It breaks for this woman who is so lost in this broken system trying to figure out how it works and how she can get her girls back. As she processes mistakes she has made and trying to know how to change for the future. This case is so hard because I can't speak with her very well so its hard to know her heart in the whole thing. So I pray. I pray that He will fill the gaps that I don't understand. The board again states how glad they are to see a foster parent that is involved in the child's life and it just breaks my heart that this is not the norm. Oh how my heart longs to see this as the rule and not the exception because these kids deserve better, they deserve families that love them with their whole heart even when it is destined to break in the end. They deserve love that doesn't hold back. These kids need to feel like someone is fighting for them because they are worth it.
I sit here and look at these precious lives sitting around me. Two sweet foster kiddos that have two very different cases and situations but two kiddos that need my love, my husbands love, my kids love, and most of all Jesus' love. Thank you dear friends for your prayers they were greatly felt and I truly feel like God is doing some amazing things around here. Its hard and it hurts, but it is so worth it.
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