A child gets taken out of their home and into child services mainly due to abuse or neglect. Child services is called and they bring the child to the child services office. The workers then look at their lists of foster parents who have open beds and are accepting a certain age. They call that foster parent asking if they would be willing to take them in. Most of the time it takes a lot of phone calls to a lot of foster parents until they find someone. If there are siblings they most likely split them up due to foster parents not being able to take that many kids in. Once they find a family the worker then drives to the foster families house with the child. The child arrives with sometimes a bag of clothes but most of the time with just the clothes they are wearing, no special blanket they sleep with, no things from home, just themselves. The social worker has the foster parent sign a form taking guardianship and tells them whatever information they have, which many times is not much info and then social worker leaves. The foster parents are left with this baby or child that has been through some trauma to try and explain that this house is as safe place. That first month will include a court date within the first week to decide what parents need to do to get kids back and then a decision on visitations with family. A good social worker will make a home visit to check on child. Many times though weeks can go by before the child sees any worker at all to check on them. At the next court date the judge decides if the parents are attempting to get the child back, if they are they will decide what else needs to be done before returning home, if not they will look at relatives that are willing to take the child. If no relative is willing rights will get terminated. After rights are terminated they get put in the adoption category and the foster parents can decide to adopt or they are placed with a family that has been waiting for a child. On paper this looks like it shouldn't take so long, but if the parents are making even the littlest effort the child can sit in the system for months and sometimes years before the judge decides what is going to happen.
Now that's the broad details of it.
This is what it looks like for the foster parents. During all the paperwork and training we tell them what ages of children we are willing to take and how many. Rob and I have specified we will accept kids ages 6 and under keeping Allie our oldest. We can accept 2 kiddos, but have 3 beds open. Technically homes can only have 5 kids in them in South Carolina and that includes your own. So for my family we already have 3 of our own so we are allowed 2 foster kiddos. Child services can put waivers in when they are in a pinch to allow more. Once approved you wait for a phone call. Sooner than later the phone will ring. "Mrs. So and so can you take in a 3 year old boy? He is (named race) and we don't know much about his case." You talk with your spouse and call them back to let them know whether or not you are willing. When you answer yes they normally say, great we will be there in an hour or so. You now have anywhere from an hour to a couple hours to prepare your house for whatever child you are taking, whether it be a newborn like ours or a set of toddlers, or one 6 year old, etc. The doorbell rings and there in front of you is the social worker and the child you will be caring for as you own for the next month, couple months, or year. They come into you home sit at the table and have you sign papers. The child looks around wondering where in the world he/she is and who this foster parent is. The worker walks out and you look at this child wondering what to do. The next few days is spent trying to figure out the child's needs, wants, sleep patterns, and constantly showing that you are trustworthy. A worker may or may not visit to see how you are doing and you will go to court in a couple weeks to hear his/her case and what is to be done. As time passes the courts will decide what is to be done with the child.
This is what it looks like for the child. Police enter your house and remove you from your family. As a baby you don't understand, but as a child no matter how much your family hurt or don't take care of you they are still your parents and you are being ripped from them. You get brought to an office full of people that you don't know talking about you and your family. They tell you they are bringing you someone you don't know, to live with for who knows how long. You enter this "foster home" and are introduced to these new people to take care of you. For dinner they make food your mom has never made and have rules you don't understand. You go to bed at night in different pajamas, without your special blanket and in a bed you don't know. The parents say they will keep you safe, but how in the world do you know if thats true. Will they feed me, Can I use the bathroom, Will they hurt me? These are all questions running through your mind. You start school at a new school, with new teachers, new friends, and new rules. Everyone keeps referring to you as a "foster kid" and your not sure why they look at you funny or sad when they say those words.
I'd like to say that most foster homes treat the foster kids as their own, love them and care for them, but unfortunately that isn't normally the case. They are just a kid they have to take care of for now. Emotionally unconnected and just a job. Brokenness, fears, lack of love, lack of care surrounds these kids lives and greatly impacts who they are and who they become.
Life of foster care is messy, full of sinful people making mistakes all the time. But in midst of the darkness glimpses of light shine through. Forgiveness, love, joy, hope, redemption are all things that show themselves from time to time.
This is what it looks like for the foster parents. During all the paperwork and training we tell them what ages of children we are willing to take and how many. Rob and I have specified we will accept kids ages 6 and under keeping Allie our oldest. We can accept 2 kiddos, but have 3 beds open. Technically homes can only have 5 kids in them in South Carolina and that includes your own. So for my family we already have 3 of our own so we are allowed 2 foster kiddos. Child services can put waivers in when they are in a pinch to allow more. Once approved you wait for a phone call. Sooner than later the phone will ring. "Mrs. So and so can you take in a 3 year old boy? He is (named race) and we don't know much about his case." You talk with your spouse and call them back to let them know whether or not you are willing. When you answer yes they normally say, great we will be there in an hour or so. You now have anywhere from an hour to a couple hours to prepare your house for whatever child you are taking, whether it be a newborn like ours or a set of toddlers, or one 6 year old, etc. The doorbell rings and there in front of you is the social worker and the child you will be caring for as you own for the next month, couple months, or year. They come into you home sit at the table and have you sign papers. The child looks around wondering where in the world he/she is and who this foster parent is. The worker walks out and you look at this child wondering what to do. The next few days is spent trying to figure out the child's needs, wants, sleep patterns, and constantly showing that you are trustworthy. A worker may or may not visit to see how you are doing and you will go to court in a couple weeks to hear his/her case and what is to be done. As time passes the courts will decide what is to be done with the child.
This is what it looks like for the child. Police enter your house and remove you from your family. As a baby you don't understand, but as a child no matter how much your family hurt or don't take care of you they are still your parents and you are being ripped from them. You get brought to an office full of people that you don't know talking about you and your family. They tell you they are bringing you someone you don't know, to live with for who knows how long. You enter this "foster home" and are introduced to these new people to take care of you. For dinner they make food your mom has never made and have rules you don't understand. You go to bed at night in different pajamas, without your special blanket and in a bed you don't know. The parents say they will keep you safe, but how in the world do you know if thats true. Will they feed me, Can I use the bathroom, Will they hurt me? These are all questions running through your mind. You start school at a new school, with new teachers, new friends, and new rules. Everyone keeps referring to you as a "foster kid" and your not sure why they look at you funny or sad when they say those words.
I'd like to say that most foster homes treat the foster kids as their own, love them and care for them, but unfortunately that isn't normally the case. They are just a kid they have to take care of for now. Emotionally unconnected and just a job. Brokenness, fears, lack of love, lack of care surrounds these kids lives and greatly impacts who they are and who they become.
Life of foster care is messy, full of sinful people making mistakes all the time. But in midst of the darkness glimpses of light shine through. Forgiveness, love, joy, hope, redemption are all things that show themselves from time to time.
There are so many fears that come along with it. So many uncertainties. So many trials. Foster care isn't perfect, it actually is totally broken, but one baby step at a time maybe it will be mended or better yet filled with amazing families that truly hope for healing in families.
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