Mexican Vacation and Building Foster Care Bridges.

I feel like so much has happened between the last post and now even if its only been 10 days. I hate that these keep being so long, but I feel like so much needs to be written.
After leaving Baby N with my foster mama friend and her amazing family we hopped aboard a flight to Mexico to see my family. We have the incredible blessing of my parents giving us a trip to Mexico so that we all can see each other at least once a year. I greatly look forward to this time, time for cousins to spend time together, time to laugh with my family, and time to relax. This year it was so fun to see the kids try some "firsts". First time snorkeling, first time petting sea turtles, first time experiencing some crazy street performances in Mexico. I love that all the cousins are so close in age and love to play together.

For my moms 60th birthday us 'kids' hired a photographer to come out and capture some family photos. You can't beat the backdrop, although its not an easy thing to get 7 kids happily smiling. 

We spent a day on a catamaran and was probably the best day we've had on vacation. Can these boys get any cuter? 

 After 7 days of beautiful beaches, sun, great Mexican food, scooter rides, lots of laughs and little giggles, pool time, games and lots of memories we headed back home. Thanks mom and dad for another great family vacation it is truly a blessing!

We arrived to the airport and were greeted by my friends husband and baby N. It was great to see that sweet baby boy and kiss his chunky cheeks. The week prior I had been in prayer for him and his situation. His mom seems very much involved and wanting him back. I was praying for her heart and life that she would be making wise choices for her son and that her heart was true. She had been pumping like nobodies business and storing and freezing her milk so that her son could have breast milk instead of formula. If you have never been a nursing mom, let me tell ya pumping is not easy. She even has to get up in the middle of the night to pump in order for him to have enough for the week. Because of this I knew that she was at least trying and that made my heart happy.

Monday we were back to reality, doctors appointments, my kids came home sick, I wasn't feeling great and thankfully Rob took the day off to help at home. At noon on monday I had a doctors appointment for baby N. Mom and Grandma were going to be there and I was a little anxious for it. I wanted mom to know that I was taking good care of her son and that I was fighting for her and her family to be restored. I arrived at the doctor and saw two people as I walked in, made eye contact, and asked "are you baby N's mom?" They said yes and Grandma introduced herself as Grandma. I signed him in. She asked if she could hold the carseat. "Of course, and take him out if you want". It was about 15 minutes of awkward conversation, but she asked a lot about him and how he was doing. As I was talking I was praying for her to see my heart and my desire for a relationship with her. We were brought back to the room and I stepped aside and let mom talk to doctor. The doctor left with baby N for his procedure and we continued with our conversations. An hour passed by and she opened up a lot. One thing I have learned through my foster care experience both as a parent and at the children's home is that never, never forget that we are all human, these women are all moms, and don't put everyone in the same box. This mom started young, and probably made some bad decisions early on, but now in this moment she is trying, trying to change, trying to do whats best for her son, trying to start new. Unfortunately from the moment he was born she was not treated as a mom or a human being, she was treated as a name, a number in the system. Her efforts went uncared for, the milk she pumped got thrown away because everyone assumed it wouldn't continue. She wasn't given a chance. I want her to know that I believe in a God of second chances, a God of forgiveness and restoration. Don't get me wrong I will protect baby N with all that I am, but I also will allow this mom a clean slate with me and build a relationship with her that she can be open and honest in her needs and struggles. We walked out of the doctors office I gave her my cell number and told her if she is ever just worried or wondering about her son to please text me or call. I told her about his well baby on wednesday and invited her to go in which she accepted. Grandma looked at me and introduced herself by name instead of grandma, I understood it as another barrier broken and a bridge built.

I got in the car and was so thankful that the time with mom went better than I could have expected. 36 hours have passed since then and so many conversations via text have gone on between her and I. I think she is as surprised as I am. She continues to say how happy she is that baby N is with a foster family that is taking good care of him. I continue to tell her how much I am here to support her and love her son.

Mom has just moved here with no one besides her mom. I hope and pray that I can be her community. My family can be the ones that she can go to for help and advice. I want her to know that if she is willing to change and make better choices we are here to support her. So in this moment I am encouraged and excited about new relationships, about prayers answered for us to have bridges built between foster parents and birth parents. God is bigger than the largest barriers. He is in the work of mending, rebuilding, and renewing and I am thankful for that.

So as discouraged as I was with baby Joys mom I am that much encouraged by baby N's mom. So lesson learned, don't assume anything, don't label people, and don't place past experiences on new ones.