so yes I know I have been an awful blogger these past two months... whats funny is that I have had more to blog about in the last two months than in the last 3 years.. I have just felt like life hasn't slowed down. We had all Robs family in town for 5 weeks and of course were busy busy busy. What a blessing to have them here we felt blessed to have each and every day together. Rob left on a two week trip today so my goal in these next two weeks is to update my posts from our adventures the last two months cause it has been an adventure! Just a couple one liners to keep you coming back... traveling the beautiful christmas markets of germany... All of us including Robs beautiful 83 year old grandma having to walk 1km through the snow to get home... being snowed in for 6 days... allies 3rd birthday bash... Our "manna" Christmas dinner... and much more!
For today its just me, my ramblings and a tad bit of an honest heart...
I'm not sure if I'm the only mom who feels this way but I have found that the journey of motherhood is one of mountains and valleys. I have just come out of one of those "valley" moments. I had a week that I just felt like a bad mom and wife. One of those weeks where I just had a short fuse, one where I just was in a funk and couldn't seem to get free. There was a day later in the week that I just kept praying "Lord am I ever going to get out of this? Am I ever going to enjoy this like I used to?" It was a challenge. A challenge to open another book to read to Allie, to give Jake my fingers so he could walk around the house. Not that I didn't love them. I truly did, I just wasn't enjoying the daily routine like I used to. I just kept praying and hoping. One beautiful morning I woke up refreshed. I know it had to have been the Lord providing. Providing strength, joy, and true love for my precious children. These last few days I have felt more than blessed. It has been so the opposite of last week. I have felt so in love with my children that I can stop squeezing them. I can't get enough of their sweet faces. Allie has been the cutest 3 year old that I have ever known. The things that she has said and done have warmed my heart. The other day I was joking around with her telling her that Daddy was looking for a plug to plug me in cause I needed to be recharged (I was a bit sleepy). Allie looks at me and says "You're silly mommy, you don't get plugged in you're a person". "I am? How do I get recharged then?" I ask. "God lives in your heart mommy and He charges you." Thanks sweet girl. How I needed that reminder. She has longed to pray together often. The times I forget she reminds me "We need to pray mommy". She just received this little leap frog pen for christmas from Rob and I and has loved it. Its this pen that she scrolls over words and reads them for her. It does definitions of words ect. Yesterday she walked up to me and says, "Mommy do you know what oasis means?" "What does it mean Allie?" "Oasis. An inlet of fresh water." she proudly responds. I just laugh under my breath. Seriously this little girl is too much for me.
Jake. What can I say about this studly little boy. He is so close to walking already. He has this walker and zooms through the house with the biggest grin on his face. What a joy this little boy is. He is madly in love with his sister. All he wants is to be with her at all times. When at the nursery at church he only doesn't cry when he has a hold of his sisters hand. I have never seen such love for a sister... lets hope it lasts a long time :) He eats like no other 9 month old I know. He only has two little teeth in the front but it doesn't stop this little boy.. some of his favorites are; orange slices, sweet potatoes mixed in with pasta noodles, turkey, bananas, peas, and of course bread. He shovels food into his face as if he has never eaten in his life. Its quite funny. He has just learned the sign for more and does it all the time thinking that every time he signs "more" he will get food... definitely his fathers son!
After reflecting on the rough mom week that I had I truly think I was given that week to understand other moms. to understand what it feels like to have weeks where you just feel like a bad mom. and to know that those weeks don't last forever. that those weeks grow you into a better mom on the other end, when your willing and ready to learn and admit that you need growth. It brings you to your knees knowing that only through the Lord can I really be a mom that He desires me to be.
so now these next two weeks rob is gone and I am thankful that I loving being a mom. Loving the place that I am in right in this moment. so I will take it and run. Now to get that list that seems to never end done before he gets back! I'm just hoping that one of these days my christmas cards will show up (our mail room has been closed due to weather) so maybe you all will get your christmas cards by valentines day?
Heres some silly videos of my two. One of jake signing and eating.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9FCeLTZMeU
and one of him walking using his walker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mdOs8HDFBI
Just copy and paste into a new browser if its not letting you click on it.
2 comments:
Oh so good to hear your heart, friend. Gosh, I've been having those days recently and I just feel disappointed in myself. I need to turn to the Lord, thank you for that reminder. I will... right now as the girls are sleeping. Thanks for the videos too... love your children.
Linds, you are such an awesome example of motherhood. Honest! Your kiddos are so darling, and I love how God speaks through children! They don't have all the layers of years and life to work through like we do, God lets them see things clearly and simply.
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