my heart touched...

Have you ever read a story over and over again yet for some reason when you read it again you are touched in a new way? Or watched a movie you have already seen only to be brought to tears even though you know the ending? I had that moment today. I am ready this book called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World 'finding intimacy with God in the busyness of life' by Joanna Weaver, and I love it. Each chapter I am brought to a point of challenge or encouragement. The title just fits my life right now and I feel blessed to have opened its cover. The verse that opened the chapter today was "Then Mary... poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." John 12:3. The story of Mary washing Jesus feet with her perfume before He was betrayed by Judas is one that have I heard many times, but today the author of my book brought new light to the story, new breath, and a new challenge to my heart.

Just to get a picture in your head...

Now Mary was a single woman living with her sister Martha and brother Lazarus. It appears that her parents died so there was no 'father' to arrange a marriage for her. So she hadn't been married off yet. A bride in those days had to present her 'fiance' with some item of value before getting married and this bottle of perfume was her item of value that she had saved when that time came. This bottle was no ordinary bottle it was one that was worth a years salary. Nowadays it would be worth around $30,000. Jesus came into the house after being away and Mary was overwhelmed with worship to her Savior. Her response to that was a feeling of sacrifice. What did she sacrifice? Everything. She gave up her dreams, her money, her everything. Now she could have put a couple drops on his feet and wiped them, but no she broke the bottle and she gave everything. "She spilled it all out. Lavishly. Extravagantly. Until her treasure ran down Jesus' feet and soaked into the floor." (weaver) She sacrificed everything in worship of her Savior. Luke 7:38 states "standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing his feet anointing them with the perfume." I can picture her at his feet crying and feeling that feeling of release. Like someone had lifted a weight off her shoulders. That feeling you get when you open your hands from it all and say I give it all over to You, so that You will do Your will. I am no longer in control. I sacrifice everything to You. As the fragrance filled the air it would have been an overwhelming smell for all as they witness this act of sacrifice. It had to have been a beautiful picture. Then what does Mary do after sacrificing everything she had? She took down her hair and wiped His feet. I have to quote the author cause her description on this part I love;

Then she did something I find disconcerting. She unbound her headpiece and wiped Jesus' feet with her hair. By that act, she laid down her glory and, in essence stood naked before the Lord. For in that culture, no proper woman ever let her hair down in public. A woman's hair was her glory, her identity, her ultimate sign of femininity, an intimate gift meant only for her husband. But for Mary, nothing was too extravagant for Jesus; she was even willing to risk her reputation. Like a lover before her beloved, she made herself vulnerable and fragile, open for rejection or rebuke. But neither came. Only the tender, silent approval of a Bridegroom for his bride. Jesus watched as Mary dried his feet, and I'm sure there were tears in his eyes"

What a picture? Now others around here did not understand her doing. It looked extreme, absurd to them. Why waste such an expensive bottle of perfume they ask? And Jesus' response to them? "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a BEAUTIFUL thing to me." What an amazing thing Jesus says. She has done a Beautiful thing to me. He sees her sacrifice and worship and defines it as beautiful. How much I desire Him to see my life, my worship, my sacrifice to Him as beautiful. I'm sad to say there are many days that I look back and it is anything but beautiful, yet I am thankful for His forgiveness and that the rising sun brings a new day. A new worship. A new sacrifice for Him. A new chance to release that aroma that Mary poured on His feet. A new day to weep at His feet. To pour out my worries, my concerns, my life and my tears and to have him care so much even to call it beautiful.

Its interesting that my response to this story is one of belief, of a desired sacrifice on my own part, yet when this was happening Judas was there watching. He was mad at her sacrifice. A waste of money he says. And Judas' response? He betrays Jesus and gives him over to Pilate to be killed for half of the money that her perfume was worth. Interesting.

A closing quote that Weaver gave that I enjoyed by St.Augustine from a sermon he preached where he proposed a kind of self-test to see if we truly love God;

Suppose God proposed to you a deal and said, "I will give you anything you want. You can posses the whole world. Nothing will be impossible for you... Nothing will be a sin, nothing forbidden. You will never die, never have pain, never have anything you do not want and always have anything you want--- except for just one thing; you will never see my face". Augustine closed with a question. Did a chill rise in your hearts, when you heard those words, "you will never see my face"? That chill is the most precious thing in you; that is the pure love of God."